Wuv, Twu Wuv

Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam... And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva. --The Impressive Clergyman from The Princess Bride

Two subjects monopolize my time as a professional tarot card reader—love and money. I have to say, though, that love wins. When I worked on a 900-number tarot phone line, the most frequent question I received was “Will we be together?” Sometimes that was followed with “Will he leave his wife for me?” It seems love is the topic over which we have the least control. This is made worse by the fact that we have no control over who they love. Yet the heart wants what it wants. No wonder love is the big question when it comes to readings.

I want to say a few things about love readings. First of all, I won’t answer a “Is he/she cheating?” question. Even though I have total faith in the cards, user error is always a possibility so I’m not going there. I also squirm a little when reading for the other half of the relationship who isn’t present. That’s a bit of a gray area for me…but I do it because the relationship is very much the business of the person getting the reading. I try to tread softly. Also, be advised that the “Is he/she my soul mate?” question is a tricky one. If they murdered you in a jealous rage in another life and here you are again, then you’re going to have a lot to iron out in this life. Although there may be a soul connection there, it might not be all roses and puppy dogs. I’m just sayin’.

I like to do very straightforward readings when it comes to love. I shuffle and lay the cards in three stacks. First is the client in the relationship. Next is the other person in the relationship. The third stack is for the relationship itself. The first two stacks are self-explanatory. The third stack treats the relationship as an entity. This is a very important aspect of the reading. Sometimes the wrong people hook up and disaster ensues. Sometimes all is well. This stack gives a sense of the reality of the relationship.

Drawing one card from each stack gives me a real quick snapshot of where everyone is at. If that isn’t enough information, or if the answer needs clarification, I will draw more cards where needed. These readings aren’t hard, per se. What is hard is the jumble of feelings and unmet desire that sometimes emanate from the client. Sometimes the cards work to help them face their feelings in a difficult relationship.

Here is a recent love reading I did for a client using the lovely Lover’s Path Tarot by Kris Waldherr.

The first stack represents the querent. What a snapshot! She is a very sensitive and intuitive woman who is extremely loving and compassionate. She is the embodiment of the Queen of Cups. She is also divorced (Queen of Staves, the Woman Alone) and has a young son (Prince of Staves). Of course, her free loving nature is curtailed by responsibility toward her son. She is going to be very cautious about who she brings into her life. In this deck, the Prince of Staves is a person with passion, creativity, and integrity who creates change in the world. She can create the relationship she needs by being true to herself.

The second stack represents the new fellow she’s just met. I had to go to my pendulum to figure this one out. One the one hand, he could be a busy but very passionate man who has trust issues. On the other hand, he could be a scoundrel who juggles women and does anything he can to score. By asking a series of yes-no questions, it looks like my client would do well to ask him if he is seeing someone else. It’s a new relationship. There is so far not a lot to lose. I didn’t get the impression that he is a player looking to put more notches on his bedpost. This, of course, led me to do a side reading about this guy and his intentions. I drew the 6 of Wands, the Knight of Pentacles, and the 2 of Cups. He feels like he is very lucky to have met my client, is a dependable guy, and is feeling a deep connection with her. So, not a horndog.

Looking at the third stack, the relationship can grow if both parties trust their inner guidance. It is so easy to be swept away with emotion and passion in relationships, but the Wisdom card cautions them to go with their gut when dealing with one another. Ask for honesty. Expect it. They should be careful not to create illusions about themselves to seem more desirable (7 of Cups) but approach each other with real honesty about needs and desires. If they can manage this, this could be a significant relationship for both of them (Lovers card).

See how sticky love readings can get? They’ve just met. It is reasonable to believe he may be seeing someone else—most people are. A desirable, reasonably successful man probably is seeing other people. If he's keeping it a secret, it may be because he is programmed to believe women will not accept the behavior. Change the paradigm. Bring it out into the open and work it through. It will be a refreshing change of pace, I'm sure--if he is indeed an honorable man. It may seem like I’ve just broken my own rule on the cheating question, but they aren’t fully invested in the relationship yet. Clearing this up is as easy as asking. They aren’t in that phase of the relationship where they should demand exclusivity, but by requiring brutal honesty of one another, they can lay the foundation for a real relationship.

Update: Follow-up with this client revealed that he is indeed in a long-distance open relationship. The client is feeling it out to see if this is agreeable.